No, I’m not singing the Frozen theme song. I really mean it, let it go. The act of letting things roll off my back and moving past them has always been very difficult for me. I think the older I get, the harder it is for me to let things go.. No matter how hard I try to just forget about it, I box up those feelings and tuck them away in my mind to think about later. I can’t say I’m a subject matter expert on the art of letting go, but here are some things that have really helped me.
1. Save it for another day. When something upsetting happens to me, I immediately want to talk about it. I want to vent and I want everyone around me to know that I’m upset….. I’ve started to learn that I can just save it for another day. When faced with a moment that I know is going to make me upset, I try to tell myself …Discuss it tomorrow Marise. And normally tomorrow comes…. And whatever I was raging about the day before seems a little easier to take on. A little less hurtful …. A little more manageable.
2. Vent. I never move past anything without venting. It’s in my nature to be reactive to situations. This venting processes can go on for a few hours, but I am blessed with wonderful sounding boards. It helps to vent, do it. You’ll find you feel lighter, it makes your heart less heavy, your mad less mad…and sometimes depending on who you’re talking to… They are able to bring you down off your rant and calm you down. Give it a try and you might even find out that what’s bothering you …may not bother you so much anymore. Next thing you know, you’re on your way to letting go.
3. Acknowledge your feelings. If something bad happens at work, and your Boss really infuriates you…remember that you are allowed to feel what you are feeling. Give yourself some time to sort out the feelings you are having, and then give yourself permission to have them. One of my biggest pet peeves is someone who isn’t honest enough with themselves to allow themselves to feel. It’s allowed. And forget all of those stupid people who tell you that “you’re overreacting” or ” you need to be more logical and less emotional” Screw. Practicality. Our brains are created with the ability to feel, emotion is human. It means we are alive. And for all those unemotional people out there– I hope one day you can join the living, because you’re dead inside.
4. Sweat it out. Working out is one of the best things you can do for your mind, body, and inner harmony. Truth: Food is the most over-used means to help people manage stress and depression, while exercise is the most under-used anti-depression, and anti-anxiety drug there is. Feeling worked up? Well, work it out. Go for a walk, “blow off some steam”, run until you can no longer think about what has upset you. Give your mind some time to be clear, to re-adjust, and to refocus on the problem. A clear mind will absolutely encourage and enable you to work through tough situations and hopefully in the end, help you to make the decisions to move past them.
Truth: There are people that you will encounter in your life that do not have the best intentions for you. Don’t give them the satisfaction of getting to watch you unravel. Center yourself. Take control of the upsetting situation, whether it is in your mind, in your words, or in your physical actions. Breathe a little deeper, and then, let it go.
Once again you are correct. People need to own their emotions and act based on truth. Then we need to get past obstacles. The obstacles cannot define us. Our strength, perseverance and composure is what defines us